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 The Res Historica Honours List.

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ferval
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PostSubject: The Res Historica Honours List.   Sat 31 Dec 2011, 00:19

On whom would you bestow an honour and for what?

Richard 3 - for services to childcare.
Tamerlane - for services to the disabled community


Your suggestions please.



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Temperance
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Sat 31 Dec 2011, 08:37

The lads from Rue Saint-Severin - services to animal welfare.
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Meles meles
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Sat 31 Dec 2011, 16:17

Caligula - for bringing schizophrenia well and truly out into the open.

Queen Victoria - for Haemophiliac's Anonymous

hmmmm,

EDIT: (hope those aren't in bad taste... apologies if they are).
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Sat 31 Dec 2011, 17:02

@Meles meles wrote:
Caligula - for bringing schizophrenia well and truly out into the open.

Queen Victoria - for Haemophiliac's Anonymous

hmmmm,

(hope those aren't in bad taste... apologies if they are).

To be honest, Meles meles, I felt a bit bad about my suggestion too.

My moggy's looking at me balefully as I speak.

Crying or Very sad



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Meles meles
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Sat 31 Dec 2011, 18:38

..... I'm bleeding for her! ... And actually I'm in two minds whether I should really post that Embarassed




I'm sorry, but you do just keep feeding me the lines :)


Last edited by Meles meles on Sat 31 Dec 2011, 18:50; edited 1 time in total
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Gilgamesh of Uruk
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Sat 31 Dec 2011, 18:45

Whoever killed off the Beeb History Boards should be given the DCM.
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Meles meles
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Sat 31 Dec 2011, 18:48

DCM? .... wassat then, eh?
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Sat 31 Dec 2011, 18:57

All right, I'll take the bait, what's the DCM - the Despicable Conduct etc. As long as it's not the CDM.

Urban 1 - for interfaith relations.

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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Sat 31 Dec 2011, 18:58

3 minds!
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Sat 31 Dec 2011, 18:59

Where did bandick's post go, or did I dream it? Sorry, Norman's, I can't cope these multiple aliases and multiple sites.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Sat 31 Dec 2011, 20:20

DCM? Don't Come Monday aka Order of the Boot.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Wed 04 Jan 2012, 17:14

I think Richard the Third deserves something. Dunno why...it's just a hunch.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Fri 06 Jan 2012, 13:58

Mary, Queen of Scots. For completely losing her head....
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Fri 06 Jan 2012, 14:12

Catherine the Great. For completely losing her virginity

(allegedly three hundred and seventy four times)
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Fri 06 Jan 2012, 14:22

A bit like the miraculous loaves and fishes was it? She could replenish herself?
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Fri 06 Jan 2012, 14:36

Most replenished female in the history of foreign affairs. Had quite a few of them too.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:07





And the Aleister Crowley Beastie award for the six hundred and sixty sixth post (registered on Tuesday 10th January 2012 at approximately 11.45 GTMT) goes to...

.... wait for it ....
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:32







Last edited by nordmann on Tue 17 Jan 2012, 19:21; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Wed 11 Jan 2012, 10:42

Oh well done Bandick! You now have a picture of a grumpy man to add to your casserole pot, which was awarded to you during the Great Bore Wars.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Wed 11 Jan 2012, 12:18

I feel an Oscar moment coming on… ladies and gentlemen, I’d first like to thank my mum, my friends, my neighbours…. and on and on for at least 15 minutes… my pet cat etc, and lastly everyone that knows me… I really don’t know what to say.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Mon 16 Jan 2012, 07:58

And even more honours on the way - the award for nailing the 1,000th post to the door goes to .....
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Mon 16 Jan 2012, 08:10

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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:02

Eh? Are you sure? I never win anything...

Oh and why are there now Swords of Damocles hovering over our heads, Nordmann?affraid
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Mon 16 Jan 2012, 14:11

Damocles said I could have them - I swear.

Robots never lie - and my pal the google robot insists you get the honour ...

In true hobbit style, and after all we are in the Eagle and Child, there'll be another honourable mention for post 1111
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Tue 17 Jan 2012, 18:20

And, as promised, the honourable hobbit mention for the one thousand and eleventy first post goes to ...
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Tue 17 Jan 2012, 18:24



Last edited by nordmann on Tue 17 Jan 2012, 23:24; edited 2 times in total
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Gilgamesh of Uruk
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Tue 17 Jan 2012, 23:20

The piccy for the eleven eleventieth doesn't show up properly on my PC.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Tue 17 Jan 2012, 23:46

It does now.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Wed 18 Jan 2012, 00:30

The Kim Yong-Il award for self-aggrandisement goes to Frank (Voreqa) Bainimarama of Fiji for insisting his country's most popular personality of the year award had been unethically chosen and ordering two government enquiries into the matter. (Needless to say, the award had gone to someone else.)

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/probes-after-fijis-bainimarama-loses-poll/story-e6frf7jx-1226243775379
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Wed 18 Jan 2012, 07:05

@Gilgamesh of Uruk wrote:
The piccy for the eleven eleventieth doesn't show up properly on my PC.

Didn't on mine either Urn, but I just thought Nordmann was teasing us!

Congrats to Giraffe.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Wed 18 Jan 2012, 12:39


I’d like to nominate Idi Amin for putting Uganda firmly on the map, more than any tourist board promotion or any amount of “wish you were here” postcards.



Well done ID and Giraffe… welcome to the hall of fame. Who will be next.?

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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Thu 19 Jan 2012, 23:31

Alexander the Great for proving that a lad from a disfunctional family can, with the best private classical education to hand can make it to the top and over.

P.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Thu 19 Jan 2012, 23:33

The Knobbled Peace Prize surely should go to Neville Chamberlain. (Sp?)

P.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Thu 19 Jan 2012, 23:35

Can I give the order of the swollen plums to the cretin who thought it would be a good idea to deliver my P45 on Christmas Eve?
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Thu 19 Jan 2012, 23:41

Duorum Laterum Medium might be even better. Welcome, anyway.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Thu 19 Jan 2012, 23:43

Now if you’d have said that on the Beeb… you’d have been modded for misuse of the word ‘swollen’.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Thu 19 Jan 2012, 23:59

He's going to be modded for "plums" anyway!

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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Fri 20 Jan 2012, 00:10

Welcome on board BTTDP! The only reason you didn't get an invite was that you never turned up on Englstory or Historum ---

Unless you know different ...
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Fri 20 Jan 2012, 05:49

@Priscilla wrote:
Alexander the Great for proving that a lad from a disfunctional family can, with the best private classical education to hand can make it to the top and over.

P.

George W Bush for proving that a dysfunctional lad can make it to the top and over without any education at all.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Tue 24 Jan 2012, 10:18

Henry VIIIth for services to building preservation and marriage guidance.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Wed 29 Feb 2012, 17:43

Mi scuzzi, but having just received this, let me shake my few remaining hairs!


It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'!
For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee.
You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving.
Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?

That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S.
You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.

Here are the Stella’s for year -- 2011:

*SEVENTH PLACE*
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.
The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
Start scratching!

*SIXTH PLACE*
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps. Scratch some more...

*FIFTH PLACE*
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage.
Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish.
Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish.
We should all have this kind of anguish.
Keep scratching. There are more. Double hand scratching after this one.

*FOURTH PLACE*
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.
Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..

*THIRD PLACE*
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone.
The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?
Only two more so ease up on the scratching...

*SECOND PLACE*
Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth.
Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure. Ok. Here we go!!

* FIRST PLACE *
This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.
On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.
Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set.
The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down?
$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.



If you think the court system is out of control, be sure to pass this one on.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Wed 29 Feb 2012, 17:58

That is very funny Nielsen but, in the pursuit of truth, if such a thing exists, I'm afraid that http://www.stellaawards.com/bogus.html
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Sun 04 Mar 2012, 09:32

Granville Sharp...for being the person who deserves the real credit for ending slavery in British colonies.
Cool
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Thu 15 Mar 2012, 12:36

Ladies and Gentlepeople ......




The 5000th post on Res Historica has been reached !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And the award for having achieved this historic milestone on our road to web domination goes to ......


Last edited by nordmann on Thu 15 Mar 2012, 12:45; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Thu 15 Mar 2012, 12:40

For her insightful and thought-provoking observation on the demerits of body scrubbing ....

Quote :
Well, I've just emerged from the shower, thoroughly scrubbed down with my exfoliating mitt and copious amounts of Clinique Sparkle Skin.

The blurb on the tub (which I've never bothered to read before as it's in tiny letters that I can't make out without my specs) is persuasive:

"Discover a refreshing experience for the whole body. Stimulates. Refines. Invigorating granules take even rough, hardened skin to glowing smoothness."

To be honest, I feel neither invigorated nor refined this morning, and I don't think I'm glowing or sparkling much either. But I *do* feel noticeably smoother and Sparkle Skin smells better than Vim. The Scrape 'n' Oil experience just sounds too *greasy* for me.

Will now try to think of a sensible example for the thread.


and for hitting 5000 bang on the button, the Grand Prix is awarded to ....



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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Thu 15 Mar 2012, 12:43

Or even the vestigial virgin!
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Thu 15 Mar 2012, 12:57

I think these are the Divested Virgins actually.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Thu 15 Mar 2012, 13:02

Well, they're certainly not wearing vests.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Thu 15 Mar 2012, 13:11

They are, just very discreetly - bashful little things that they are.
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PostSubject: Re: The Res Historica Honours List.   Thu 15 Mar 2012, 13:20

Not bad for a withered geriatric.

Who are the other two then?
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